Selfies: An Exercise in Self-Love

Self-love is a concept that I have struggled with for over half my life. Since choosing “real” recovery, it is something that I am constantly striving towards. I have come a long way in how I view myself and my body, but there is still a lot of work to be done.

Pictures of myself are one of the things that triggers my eating disorder voice, or “inner critic”, to start in on the hate. It’s awful the way I can talk to myself sometimes, and when I write is out, it is truly horrifying.

I would never speak to anyone else the way I speak to myself, and I know that I have a distorted perception of my body.

So I decided to do a little exercise. The only way to stop the hate, is to counteract it with love.

At first this exercise will make you roll your eyes, but hear me out: Counter the hateful comments with a comment made out of love.

Selfies: An Exercise in Self-Love

Inner Critic: “I don’t look fit at all.”

Voice of Love: “Girl, you look strong and healthy!”

*It is ridiculous for me to think I could be fat or big. I have gained 14  much needed pounds since August. Logically I know I am not fat or “big” based on my height and weight, but my ED/Inner Critic can be ruthless. 

Inner Critic: “My cheeks are getting chubby, my eyes are too squinty.”

Voice of Love: “I like my hair, and I am so lucky to have such a handsome, amazing boyfriend who loves me.”

*This was taken on Valentine’s Day, a day meant for love. Remembering how much I have to be grateful for also helps to silence my inner critic.

Inner Critic: “Ugh I have huge bags under my eyes. What made me think I should take a selfie- I look like crap.”

Voice of Love: “I am aloud to love myself and take pictures when I feel like it.”

*I took this while I was writing this post. Tired after a long day, but wanted to make a point that selfies can be a part of the healing process. 

It is powerful to write out these hateful comments, it makes you see how degrading they are. Not only that, but they serve no purpose other than making you feel awful about yourself.

After you write down the comment from your inner critic, find something positive or loving to say to yourself.

The Take Home

It may be difficult at first. But look at the selfie or picture and tell yourself something that you would tell a friend. Compliment the person looking back at you in the picture. Tell her she is beautiful, that her eyes are full of sparkle, or that she is owning that little black dress.

The more you practice looking at a picture and shutting down any negative comments by replacing them with positive messages, the easier it will become. The goal is that one day, that inner critic will no longer even make a peep. You will automatically look at yourself with loving eyes, full of compassion and self-love.

 

 

Linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud this week.

#1 Reason Why You Didn’t Get Her Number

I have come to the conclusion that there needs to be a college course required for all males (and honestly females too) on dating and relationship etiquette, specifically on how to appropriately approach a female if they want any hope of any future conversations or interactions.

And Tip #1 is introduce yourself.

I felt compelled to write this post because twice in the past 3 weeks I have been asked for my number by two different boys (I say boys because a man would not do this) and both of them did not introduce themselves or ask my name- what is that about?!

This is how I was approached

Boy: “Hey so, I was just wondering, can I have your number?

Me: “Umm, you wanna tell me your name?”

 

I’m sorry, but why the heck would I give you my number if you didn’t even ask my name or tell me yours? Like what are you going to put me in your phone as? Hot Girl From Gym?

Come on now.

With the second guy I spent a little time talking to him about what he should do next tip.

 

Steps to Asking a Female for Her Number

1.Introduce yourself

Hey, my name is Joe, what’s your name?

2.Have a little conversation before going in for the kill.

And I mean more than “You’re hot.” Actually ask things like ”What are you studying… oh ya I took a class like that last semester, who is your professor?”

3.Then if the female doesn’t look freaked out or very uncomfortable, you may ask her for her number.

“So, it was really nice talking to you [insert female’s name], I was wondering if I could get your number?”

Boom, easy.

 

Now, I understand it is hard for guys. I can imagine it must be nerve racking approaching a woman you find attractive. The threat of rejection is definetly there, but if you take the time to actually talk to the girl, I can promise you your odds of getting those digits will go up by at least 80%.

Disclaimer, I am not single and am in a very loving and committed relationship with an amazing man. So, these boys that approached me had no chance from the get go, but the message here for my girls is: do not settle for anything less than a gentleman.

 

 

Linking up with Amanda for Thinking Out Loud this week. 

The Skinny Rules… Are you Freaking Kidding Me?

I hesitated in writing this post. I came across Bob Harper’s Skinny Rules on Pinterest, and thought, surley no one could actually believe that these are rules they should be following?

 

But then I thought, when I was 13 years old I would have took these rules for law. These rules would have been my bible, and I would have followed every one to a T. That being said, when I was deep in my eating disorder I did follow these insane rules and MORE. And you know what happened? I lost weight I did not even have to lose. My hair started falling out, I had no energy, my butt and back bones were so exposed that I got bruises from sitting… The list goes on.

Today I wanted to destroy some of these “rules.” I want someone to read this post and know that these rules are NOT okay. They are incredibly unhealthy and should be banned from the internet.

Some of the Most F***ed Up “Rules” On the Internet

Drink a large glass of water before every meal- no exceptions.

Okay water is good, water is essential, I drink at least a galloon a day myself. But before every meal? No exceptions? Umm no, drink when you are thirsty and your body will tell you how much you need to stay hydrated.

Don’t drink your calories

Ever heard of a glass of milk full of calcium and vitamin D? Or a protein shake post workout to give your body the energy it needs to recover? Or a fun latte at Starbucks with a friend? Ya, all those things are incredibly healthy in their own way.

Eat Protein at EVERY Meal -or stay hungry & grouchy!

protein

While protein does help keep you satiated, and I do agree you should have protein at every meal, there shouldn’t be this much pressure.

Slash Your Intake of Refined Flours & Grains

I eat white rice almost every single day. It is a fast digesting carb to refuel your body. And everything in moderation folks!

Eat 30-50 grams of FIBER per day!

The recommendation is  28-30 grams a day. And 50 grams? Prepare to be very bloated and constipated.

Eat Apples & Berries Every single day- Yes, EVERY-SINGLE-DAY!

There are plenty of other delicious fruits out there. How about a banana or some melon? Maybe I don’t want berries every freaking day.

NO Carbs after Lunch

needs carbs

Just NO. Carbs are the body’s primary source of energy. Unless you want to be a tired, hangry biatch… don’t do this.

Stop Guessing about Portion Size & Get it Right-for good!

This-screw you serving size

No more added sweeteners-including artificial ones!

I agree we should avoid too much artificial sugar, but eliminating anything completely can lead to an unhealthy attitude toward food.

Get rid of White potatoes!

potato

Why? They are just as good for you as any other potato.

Get rid of Fast foods & fried foods

Eating these things once in a while won’t kill you.

Banish High Salt Foods

You need sodium to live. Too little electrolytes will send your body into shock. Don’t poor the whole salt shaker on your food, but don’t be afraid of poor old salt.

Go to bed hungry

LMAO, I average about 500 calories right before bed every night, and I am doing just fine. Personally I would be up all night with hunger pains if I didn’t eat right before bed. Your body is not a clock, so freaking eat when you’re hungry!

Plan one splurge MEAL per week

I do not believe in “cheat” meals or “splurges.” Food is food, using these words to describe it make food seem like it is either good or bad. Food just is, that cookie won’t kill you, and the carrot stick won’t make you a Saint.

nutrition

I would love to hear your thoughts on these “rules” and other insane nutrition and health myths!

Note: I am not a registered dietitian. This is what I do know about proper nutrition and this post reflects my opinions on health and wellness.

A Killer Glutes and Hamstrings Workout

Now that we got the jams, here is a killer workout to pair them with. I did this workout on Tuesday this week, and I was feeling the burn the next day. I linked a video to each exercise. Focus on slow, controlled movements for each form. Weight should be light enough to perform the correct number of reps, but heavy enough so it feels like work!

Glutes and Hamstrings

Reverse pull through 4x 12

I am still working on my form for this one. Keep you back flat, and you will should feel this in your hamstrings. Make sure to squeeze the glutes when you pull through.

Kick back (using cable) 4x 15 each leg

Alternatively, use a band like these. Also, watch gym traffic to avoid kicking people 😉

Reverse Hack Squat 4×12

Single leg press 4x 12 each leg
I didn’t use any weight on the machine, just focused on driving through my heals

Barbell Step ups 4x 10 each leg

Romanian deadlifts 4x 20
Take your time and read up on proper form. If you aren’t sure, ask a trainer or someone you trust for helps. It is easy to hurt yourself during big compound lifts like this if you aren’t using the right form. Use dumbbells or a barbell.

Single leg curl 4x 10 each leg

Go slow and controlled. Keep your hips pressed against the pad. Here is a tutorial for a seated machine.

Lying leg curl 4x 12

Hips pressed against the pad, dorsiflex your feet.